Tonight’s Contenders: Shark Week

I’ve always been critical of hopping on band wagons, but as a man raised by the Discovery channel I can’t help but buy into this one. Shark week is an institution in summer programming, forged when cable TV was still in its infancy and the Discovery channel still showed educational programs. Kids were tricked into learning with impressive footage of some of nature’s oldest and most successful predator.

We do have one caveat this week, and that is we will not be viewing Jaws of Deep Blue Sea. Both are excellent shark movies and should be on top of any list, but the board of shadowy figures have watched them in recent memory. That stipulation helped me stumble across this delightful little bit of movie news. With that in mind, here are tonight’s contenders:

Sharknado (2013) – 86 mins

When a freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles, nature’s deadliest killer rules sea, land, and air as thousands of sharks terrorize the waterlogged populace.

Red Water (2003) – 92 mins

A freshwater shark wreaks havoc as it heads up a Louisiana river.

Shark (1969) – 92 mins

A gunrunner loses his cargo near a small coastal Sudanese town so he’s stuck there. When a woman hires him to raid a sunken ship in the shark-infested waters, he sees a chance to compensate for his losses. He’s not the only one.

The Last Shark (1981) – 88 mins

James Franciscus tries to save hundreds of swimmers in a coastal resort after a Great White Shark starts terrorizing the area.

Bait (2012) – 93 mins

A freak tsunami traps shoppers at a coastal Australian supermarket inside the building – along with 12-foot Great White Sharks.

The Reef (2010) – 94 mins

A great white shark hunts the crew of a capsized sailboat along the Great Barrier Reef.

Open Water (2003) – 79 mins

Based on the true story of two scuba divers accidentally stranded in shark infested waters after their tour boat has left.

Mako: The Jaws of Death (1976) – 91 mins

A man accidentally learns that he has a mystical connection with sharks, and is given a strange medallion by a shaman. Becoming more and more alienated from normal society, he develops an ability to communicate with sharks telepathically, setting out to destroy anybody who harms sharks. People enter into his strange world to exploit his weird passion, and he uses the animals to gain revenge on anybody who double crosses him.

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