Weekly Contenders: Bad Movie Ballad

This week at Monday Movie Nights we pay tribute to Hollywood’s best mistakes.  Movies so terrible that they transcend mediocrity and become something special.  Culled from the minds of our dedicated research team we have gathered a list of some enjoyably terrible movies for this Monday’s Bad Movie Ballad.

The contenders are:

The Conqueror (1956) – 111min

Starring John Wayne in yellowface as Genghis Khan the story revolves around him battling Tartar armies and falling for the Tartar princess Bortai. The movie that was so bad it literally gave 90 people on set cancer (it was filmed downwind of a US Nuclear test site) and is said to be one of the movies that Howard Hughes (who produced the film) watched obsessively after he went all crazy-hermit.

Quicksilver (1986) – 105 min

Jack Casey (Kevin Bacon) is a hot-shot stock market whiz kid, but after a bad deal on the market Casey is left for broke and looks to the fast-paced, adrenaline-filled world of bike messaging to get his life back on track. Saucy love-interests, a lusciously-locked Bacon, and tightly choreographed bicycle dancing make this flic an instant classic.

Weekend at Bernie’s (1989) – 97min

Another reason the 80’s was a great decade. When two young bumbling businessmen, Larry Wilson (Andrew McCarthy) and Richard Parker (Jonathan Silverman), alert their boss, Bernie Lomax (Terry Kiser), to an expensive discrepancy in the company books, he invites them to his home on the beach with the intent to have them murdered. However when they discover that their boss has been murdered prior to their arrival, they attempt to convince people that he is still alive to avoid suspicion for his death, leading to all kinds of wacky mishaps.

Flash Gordon (1980) – 111 min

A football player and his friends travel to the planet Mongo and find themselves fighting the tyranny of Ming the Merciless to save Earth.

The Peanut Butter Solution (1985) – 94 min

After a frightening encounter leaves young Michael Baskin completely hairless, he is given a hair-growing recipe that proves to be a little too effective – making for a “hairy” adventure.

Mystery Team (2009) – 97min

A move so bad yet so good – I thoroughly enjoyed it and am down for a rewatch with all you lovely people. Childish Gambino a bit more childish stars in this 2009 film in which a group of friends with a childish hobby for solving non-noteworthy mysteries is put to the test in order to solve a true case. (Beatle note: I personally disagree with calling this a bad movie, its awesome)

Stone Cold (1991) – 92min

Joe Huff is a tough, go-it-alone cop with a flair for infiltrating dangerous biker gangs. The FBI blackmail Joe into an undercover operation to convict some extremely violent bikers, who are angry at the capture of their leader.  Starring Brian Bosworth. An Ex NFL player takes a run at being an action movie star. How could it go wrong??

Good Burger (1997) – 103min

Two dim-witted teenage boys, are forced to save the fast-food restaurant they work at from going out of business, despite a new-and-improved burger joint opening across the street that want to be the “Top Dog” in the fast food industry.

 

 

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